Hey friends! It feel so good to be blogging again and this week I want to dive right in.
I have always set high expectations on myself and those around me which I learned leads to disappointment. I am learning to let go of control and allow things to happen, and people to be themselves.
So let’s be completely honest, we all strive to be happy all the time but when things go wrong and we feel disappointment , it’s not always easy to bounce back. Disappointment can lead to anxiety (ugh, I know I’m always bringing mental health into it) and unhappiness.
”Expectation is the root of all heartache“
Given the nature of desire, there are no experiences that are free of disappointment — which is why disappointment is such a complexed feeling. Many of our desires are unconscious and sublimated.
The way we handle disappointment has a lot to do with our developmental history - our relationship with our parents and other early experiences. Some people turn into underachievers. They unconsciously set the bar low to avoid taking risks and prevent disappointment from themselves and others. In my opinion, this can lead to a mediocre and unfulfilled life!
Others, seek to avoid disappointment by becoming overachievers. They set the bar so high to make whatever they want to achieve attainable and they forget perfectionism does not beget perfection — which leads to disappointment.
Disappointment in relationships
Disappointment can come up in any meaningful relationship. Whether it’s romantic, a friendship or family relationship — every relationship comes with expectations. In my opinion, value and expectations go hand in hand! Its inevitable to feel disappointed in others. We all have our own lives, values, feelings, desires and challenges so there is no way we can always meet the expectations of one another. Try making your expectations a bit more realistic and flexible to avoid disappointment of others.
Its healthy to remember that disappointment is a part of life and we all experience it sometimes.
Acknowledge your feelings: Do not push your feelings aside. Be honest with yourself and accept where you are.
Eliminate self doubt: Whats the saying, “small set back for a major come back!” It’s true, you have to keep trying and pushing forward. remind yourself of who you are learn from your mistakes.
Reassess: Change is not always a bad thing. Sometimes when we are disappointed it’s a sign that things need change.
Happy Monday, I hope you all make it a great week! 💐